Trying To Find The Best Skin Bleaching Method Makes Me Feel Inadequate

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For years I have been trying to find the best skin bleaching method. Ever since I was a little kid I have wanted white, and what I consider, more beautiful skin. I’m of a mixed race ‘ white on my mom’s side, black on my father’s. My mother is one of the most beautiful women you’ve ever seen.

She’s of Swedish heritage, so her hair is a nice blonde and her eyes are blue. Don’t get me started on her lovely pale skin. It’s like alabaster. Everyone always compliments her smooth skin, even now at her current age. Growing up I always wondered why my skin couldn’t be nice and white like hers.

You see, my skin is neither white nor black. It’s sort of a weird in between. I mean, to most other white people, I look brown or black, but compared to my father’s family, I’m very pale ‘ they are all very dark, very lovely skin in its own right. Not mine. It’s right in between and not very special. I feel like I don’t fit in with anyone in my family.

When I go shopping with my mother, everyone looks at me weird. People ask her if I’m her step-daughter. Or a foster daughter. Or anyone but who I am, which is the girl my mother gave birth to. When I go out with my father, it’s almost worse. Because I don’t look just like him, and he’s black, we get all sorts of weird looks.

So that is what has led me to looking for the best skin bleaching method. I’ve tried many things. I figure it’s better if I try to look like my mother, with her pearly white skin that is as creamy as butter. Ugh. Will I ever have skin like that? I guess this is what happens when you are like me.

But let me tell, it’s not easy finding the best skin bleaching method. Many of them are very expensive, or painful, or take way too long for you to find out they’re not working at all. My mom tells me I’m beautiful and I shouldn’t be upset by it, but I still am. How can I not be? Everyone judges you by the color of your skin. The authorities, my friends, even complete strangers’ I’m neither white nor black. I feel like I have no true culture. And honestly, every time I try to bleach my skin, I feel a little worse about myself.

I shouldn’t feel like I have to do this, just to be accepted in certain places. Or to not make my parents get weird stares when they look at us. Don’t strangers know how genetics works? I could have turned out darker or light, but I turned out right in between. I’m like an artist’s dream.

But in reality I am a total nightmare, and I can’t help but hate myself sometimes. I just wish I could look like someone else around me. I wish I could find someone who genuinely likes me for me and the color of my skin.

Until then, however, I am stuck in the process of trying to bleach my skin. I look everywhere for the best ideas. The internet tries to help, and I have found some nice people with the same issues I do, but overall they’re in the same boat I am. It’s a tough life for us. Those between races and cultures.

We all think about bleaching our skin, but we know it won’t make us happier at the end of the day. But as long as we are in the position we are in, we are not going to stop trying to find ways to bleach our skin.

So I have yet to find the best skin bleaching method, and I’m not sure it’s possible. All I know is that every time I try looking things up about it, I feel a little piece of myself die inside. I dream of a world where I don’t feel like I have to change my skin color just to fit in a little bit more with society.

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